Learning To Say I Love You

from Words Like Love (audio book) by Tanaya Winder

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lyrics

my favorite conversations are with my grandmother while she teaches me words in "Indian" as she says. I ask,

how do you say, where did you go? and where are you going? Questions that layer my tongue in ash, reminding me of fire,

the taste. Each time I speak, the slow burn of every loss I have
witnessed cracks my lips. Go and going – acts singed

into my bones so I ask. Teach me I’m coming with you so it sits
rock heavy in my mouth because my tongue is at war

with history, boarding school “Kill the Indian, Save the Man”
acts of colonization. Strain pronunciation. When I want to say,

take me with you it dis so l v e s

before I can stomach the sweetness of language. Ours,
I am losing. I am lost lodged somewhere in my throat

between decades of bro ken syl la bles. Teach me
how to reach the ones who are born already running.

Teach me how to talk to the ones who need it most.
Dear Universe, gift me words

that l i n g e r

softly like dusk. There must be a phrase to contain
wherever you go whether or not you know where you’ve been

or where you are going.

credits

from Words Like Love (audio book), released December 17, 2015

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about

Tanaya Winder Albuquerque, New Mexico

Tanaya Winder is a writer, educator, motivational speaker, and spoken word poet from the Southern Ute, Duckwater Shoshone, and Pyramid Lake Paiute Nations. She grew up on the Southern Ute Indian reservation and attended college at Stanford University where she earned a BA in English. She has a MFA in creative writing from the University of New Mexico. You can follow her on Twitter at @tanayawinder ... more